collegehumor:

20 Unicorn Facts That Will Melt Your Nipples Off
1. A unicorn, without a horn, is simply a magical horse.
2. Unicorns are known to bite. Hard.
3. Nicolas Cage owns six unicorns.
4. Unicorns are very rare (when cooked)
5. Unicorns are born with both male and female genitalia.
6. A unicorn will mate for life. But just as friends.
7. Unicorns still live in segregated neighborhoods. It’s sad, but true.
8. To film the unicorn-related scene in “Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone”, they spent six years tracking down the perfect unicorn.
9. And six seconds killing it.
10. A unicorn without testicles is called a “eunuchorn.”

11. In 2009, “Darnell” surpassed “Sugarlumps” as the most popular name for unicorns.
12. During courtship, the female unicorn is always, always, the one who sues for half his stuff.
13. When migrating south for the winter, most unicorns go to Kenya.
14. The name “unicorn” is actually TOO ironic. If you feed a unicorn actual corn, it will die a terribly painful death.
15. Much like horses are processed to make glue, unicorns are processed to make super glue. If you think about it, it makes so much sense.
16. In their spare time, unicorns really like to curse, play online poker, and smoke cigars while on a motorcycle.
17. Muffinhumps, the world’s oldest unicorn, was actually a bit of an asshole.
18. Number 12 contradicts number 5, but nobody will notice as most unicorns have serious dyslexia.
19. Most unicorns don’t have dreadlocks.
20. The blood of a unicorn cures Hepatitus C, but totally makes your nipples fall off.

collegehumor:

20 Unicorn Facts That Will Melt Your Nipples Off

1. A unicorn, without a horn, is simply a magical horse.

2. Unicorns are known to bite. Hard.

3. Nicolas Cage owns six unicorns.

4. Unicorns are very rare (when cooked)

5. Unicorns are born with both male and female genitalia.

6. A unicorn will mate for life. But just as friends.

7. Unicorns still live in segregated neighborhoods. It’s sad, but true.

8. To film the unicorn-related scene in “Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone”, they spent six years tracking down the perfect unicorn.

9. And six seconds killing it.

10. A unicorn without testicles is called a “eunuchorn.”

11. In 2009, “Darnell” surpassed “Sugarlumps” as the most popular name for unicorns.

12. During courtship, the female unicorn is always, always, the one who sues for half his stuff.

13. When migrating south for the winter, most unicorns go to Kenya.

14. The name “unicorn” is actually TOO ironic. If you feed a unicorn actual corn, it will die a terribly painful death.

15. Much like horses are processed to make glue, unicorns are processed to make super glue. If you think about it, it makes so much sense.

16. In their spare time, unicorns really like to curse, play online poker, and smoke cigars while on a motorcycle.

17. Muffinhumps, the world’s oldest unicorn, was actually a bit of an asshole.

18. Number 12 contradicts number 5, but nobody will notice as most unicorns have serious dyslexia.

19. Most unicorns don’t have dreadlocks.

20. The blood of a unicorn cures Hepatitus C, but totally makes your nipples fall off.

2,068 notes

magicmazzic:

If I had the chance to race Godzilla on four-wheelers you wouldn’t be able to fucking stop me.

(Source: astoundingbeyondbelief)

255,251 notes

Frank Iero vs Melonshark on instagram

(Source: weasleysara)

49,577 notes

my-tardis-sense-is-tingling:

Leander Deeny: unsung hero, we salute you

(Source: stark-industries-rnd)

134,399 notes

ihaveacleverfandomurl:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

dave-tho:

egg

OMG THIS ^^

WHEN DID TUMBLR GET SO SM O OTH  ?? ? ?? ?? ? ???

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE XDDD

thank you science side of tumblr

[supernatural gif]

I LOVE THE MEN OF TUMBLR

♥✞MASTURBATION TIPS✞♥

why does the link lead to that

(Source: shinji-tho)

264,139 notes

yall-mothafuckas-need-misha:

badassbitchfromhades:

freckledtrekkie:

doctorsherlocklokison:

captainmjolnir:

I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood

I mean seriously

what do you think we do every month

THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING

AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON

I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrafices too huh

image

Well now we do

(Source: gameofbooze)

542,569 notes

cracked:

HELL YES you can wear a black shirt in summer. Those and some other non-hardcore designs are our favorite new t-shirts of the week.

cracked:

HELL YES you can wear a black shirt in summer. Those and some other non-hardcore designs are our favorite new t-shirts of the week.

265 notes